6 Thoughts That Ruin Your Day

Have you ever had one of those days that goes bad right from the start? The kind of day that makes you wish you could crawl back into bed, and start over? One where you wake up late, the coffee maker won’t work, traffic is terrible, the guy driving next to you cuts you off, you equipment at work just won’t work, and it steamrolls downhill from there… I think we’ve all had a day like that at some point – but it’s when they keep adding up, day after day, when life becomes a series of frustrating events, then there is cause for concern.

Research and opinion among psychologists suggests that we have more control over these tough days than we may think. Very often it may be our thinking that influences our perspective on daily events that causes us to continue to have “bad days”. Our thinking can be a powerful force in taking a bad day and make it exponentially worse, or it can take that same rough start, and make it better quickly.

There several key patterns of thinking that can turn your day, and your life, upside down. If you notice yourself thinking along these lines, it’s probably a good idea to change it. If you change it in a positive way, you’ll notice a lot of other areas of your life changing for the better.

6 styles of thinking that cause trouble in our lives:

1. Viewing the world in Absolutes – simply allowing the words “always” and “never” to creep into our vocabulary and thinking in excessive doses can impact our thinking negatively. “Good things NEVER happen to me”, “I am ALWAYS the victim”. Nothing in life is ever really that absolute, but when we think that way, it becomes our perspective to see life as a real drag.

2. Looking at the future as a series of “What If’s” – planning for the future and looking forward to events in life is one of the great joys of being human. But when we begin to anticipate the future in a series of negative “What If’s” we can produce unhealthy doses of anxiety and look at the future with sadness and frustration.

3. Motivating yourself in life through a series of rules that you “Have To, Got To, or Must” do or something terrible is going to happen can bring on fear and anxiety. We all have things in life the “must” do; but when everything in life “has to” be accomplished out of fear, rather than because it is of personal benefit or benefit to another person, we can become pretty unhealthy.

4. When we begin to “Awful-ize” everything in life, when we view everything through the lens that is sad, terrible, or awful; bad days can drag on to be bad months and years. This pattern is often a sign of depression. When you think in terms of life experiences as being awful all the time, life can become unbearable.

5. The idea that the world and everything in it “Should” or “Ought” to be the way we need or want it to be will leave you frustrated. If you live your live believing everyone around you should behave in the way you want them to, you leave yourself open to frequent disappointment. At some point, acceptance of life and others as they are is the healthiest thinking pattern we can adopt.

6. Most philosophies or cultures have a powerful or cute little quote on the idea of “Trying versus Doing”; even the great philosopher Yoda once said, “Do or Do Not, there is no Try”. When we think or say we will “try” to accomplish something, it’s as though we are leaving the door open to avoid it. Doing is the art of setting a goal and striving for it, with the possibility of failure being an accepted reality. Trying is the art of thinking and talking about doing, without having to do.

It is normal to have thoughts like this occur occasionally. If you catch yourself in a thought following one of these patterns, recognize it, have a chuckle, and change it. It’s when these thoughts become patterns in our daily lives that we can really bring problems on ourselves. If that is the case, if you are thinking along these lines continually, it may take a bit more effort to correct the pattern. In my next newsletter, I will share more on the art and act of making changes in our lives.