Do Your Friends Make You Smarter?

Admittedly, I am no expert on the ever-increasing popularity of the social phenomenon Twitter and Facebook have created. I do know that the more social connections you have - the better you are. The more real face-to-face friendships you have, the better life is. There is a large body of research that agrees with that statement and that can add statistics and theory to it. An entire field of psychology, Social Psychology, is dedicated to the study of how we interact, and what it does to us.

Friends are good. More friends are better, no matter what the situation. Friendships can help you recover from terrible situations in life. They can help you avoid terrible situations as well. Friendships fight of mental illness, and can prevent poor decisions. I was given several opportunities lately to put that research to the test - one happy reason, a wedding; and a sad reason, a funeral.

Whatever the reason, it is important for us to continually work to improve our friendships, cultivate new ones, and maintain the ones we have. Here's why:

- When our own subjective view of reality gets a little bit distorted - whether about ourselves, our careers, or our other relationships, good friends are there to objectively reintroduce us to reality - whether gently or more directly, a good friend is there when we need to hear "get it together".

- Research says friends will also engage in mutually helpingbehavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. What does that mean? It means that when you need a hand, a friend is there - and you should be there when they need that hand.

- Want to feel better - call a friend. Better yet, spend an afternoon reminiscing over "the good old days". Taking the time to get together and remember the past is a key to a healthy life.

- Want to live longer and stay smarter? Build more friendships and maintain them - research in older adults continues to point out that the more friends, and the more stable the relationships, the better we are at maintaining mental flexibility and fighting off the negative aspects of aging.

Hopefully, these points are no major revelation to anyone reading this. However, in a time of greater digital connectivity, we seem to be losing some of our connectivity in friendships. Relationships where we had to work to build a "friendship" are being replaced by clicking "Accept" to become friends. These concepts should be self-evident, but sometimes it is good to be reminded.

For me, it was great connecting over that week of ups and downs. Life can sometimes work you pretty hard - but don't let it work you too hard to miss out on one the most enjoyable, and most important parts of life - friendships.

So, as the holidays approach, take some time away from all the "busy-ness" of the upcoming weeks to rebuild or improve your friendships. As Thanksgiving approaches, I want to thank all those friends that have helped me grow, but kept me in check, helped me move quickly, or slowed me down, made me feel smarter, or reminded me that I am not as smart as I like to think I am. Thanks. Let's get together soon.


Dan Recommends


I've shared my appreciation for Bill Bryson's A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail. Bryson is simply a great author who can make anything entertaining. So it was an easy decision to pick up his latest book A Short History of Nearly Everything: Special Illustrated Edition

First of all, it's not short, nor is it small. But it does appear to contain EVERYTHING! It's fairly deep, so I am only in the first chapter How to Build a Universe; and, true to form, it's been quite a read already. Bryson has gone pretty deep to help simple people like me understand the origins of the universe, the various theories leading up to the Big Bang, and where "God" and science fit in to the whole thing. I'll tell you more as I read along. If those "deep" questions are something that interest you, I highly recommend this one.