The Charlie Sheen Guide to Parenting

You may have missed the rants and public implosion of the Charlie Sheen empire a few weeks ago - but surely you haven't missed your opportunity to catch him live on his My Violent Torpedo of Truth / Defeat is Not an Option Tour this past weekend in Detroit and Chicago, or coming soon to a venue near you, have you?!




Although I am not sure what "ol' Chuck" will be talking about on tour", I have boiled down a few of his more recent ideas for your use in your parenting endeavors. I was pleased to see some parents already using these concepts on the fields of our local youth soccer program over this past weekend.



"DUH Winning!" - winning isn't just important, it is everything. It is the only thing. Win at all costs. Win not matter who the opponent is. If you are winning work harder to win some more. Sportsmanship is for 'normal people, people who aren't special'. They should have just left her in the game and let her keep scoring!



I guess for you 'normal people', teaching your children not to brag about winning, and to be a good sport is one of those things you do. I guess if you don't want to live the Charlie Sheen prescribed "rock-n-roll lifestyle", you could teach your children about it. It's a difficult boundary - you want to teach your child to work hard, have fun, and succeed; but that succeeding 'too much' is not good sportsmanship. Running up the score in real life is not favorably received.



Example - there was a young lady this weekend who scored 7 soccer goals; that's about twice as many goals as there usually are in an entire game. Even when the coach pulled her back, or had her on the sideline, the team still went on to score around 20 goals. You could tell the coach was struggling with trying to encourage his team to work hard, but he also didn't want to embarrass the other team. It's at a young age that lessons like this can be taught. Having a discussion with a 6-year old about sportsmanship can go a long way to developing a well adjusted 16-year old. How do you teach your children to be good sports? What do you say to encourage them to work hard?



Charlie would say you just don't have the "Adonis DNA" to stomach winning.



It's all about your kids "waking up one day and realizing how cool dad is!" In the book of Charlie, being cool is the rule, especially when it comes to kids. That means buying them everything they want, never saying "No", being their best friend, saying what you want when you want to them, and "you know, signing all the checks on the front" so they don't have to earn money but just have it. Do these things, and you will raise children with "tiger blood in their veins".



For the rest of you parents out there, setting boundaries, encouraging your children to earn money and possessions, and saying "No" to their sometimes irrational or egocentric requests (the ones that are pretty typical of child and adolescent development, apparently you just want to raise "normal" kids.



Finally, if you want to raise kids like Charlie Sheen, you should probably have them watch plenty of Charlie Sheen and that means at least a daily dose of that show he is on, right? While you are at it, they should probably be watching whatever else they want along those lines, too. Television today has plenty of great messages to share with your children, you don't need to monitor what they watch - they should probably have their own tv with cable or satellite access in their bedroom by around age 5. That way, they can learn all the valuable lessons of that Charlie Sheen show, and find out about the wonderful world of marketing and advertising that is available through television.



For you who don't want to be an "F-18 deploying ordnance to the ground", you might want to monitor what your kids watch, and certainly not allow them to watch that show. Find out what kinds of messages your kids are receiving from their television viewing habits. Know what the kids are watching when you're not with them, and ask them about what they watch. For every show on tv that has a Charlie Sheen message, there are other shows that offer educational and entertaining information - see The Discovery Channel or The History Channel to find out more. Also, take the television out of your kids room - watch tv as a family and discuss what you view.



Those are just a few of Charlie's tips - you can find out more on his tv show, or continue to feast on the media feeding frenzy that is his life. I am sure you can find a few hours each day of internet and news coverage. If, on the other hand, you don't agree with his tips - if you don't have Adonis DNA and tiger blood - maybe you could just turn off the tv and go for a walk with your family.